I didn't get a chance to say goodbye To you, to tell you that I loved you, to say What now must be one long, unbroken cry Of pain, now that at last you've gone away. I cannot tell you what a joy it was To be the one to tend you in your need. The burden was a gift, for giving does Not burden one who loves, though loving bleed. I wish I could have been with you when you, Perhaps aware, perhaps not, turned towards death Alone, with no one there to wonder to, To share your fear, your hand, your one last breath. I wish, I wish, I wish . . . but it is done, And now I must surrender what is gone. I still struggle with this my son, I hate December, i hate every holiday that Ryan and I cannot share with you...I love and miss you so much....Merry Christmas baby! xoxo